Say You Love Me
by FreakyKitty
Summary: Remus and Sirius begin their relationship with an unexpected kiss, but when it evolves into something deeper, Sirius cannot say those three words nor allow their relationship to be known, leaving Remus heartbroken. Marauder era. Slash, SBRL. Please review
1. The beginning

_**Say You Love Me**_

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except for the plot.

(A/N: Set in the Marauders' 6th year. Please review! I appreciate it very much! )

* * *

Remus Lupin sprinted down the corridor. He stopped right outside of the portrait of the fat lady.

"Password?"

"Gumdrop." He panted. He struggled to catch his breath.

The portrait opened and he climbed inside.

"Oi! Moony, where in the bloody hell have you been? And where is Sirius?" James exclaimed. He was sitting in one of the armchairs, across from Peter. Remus had a feeling that he was Lily-spying. Lily was sitting with a group of girls near them.

"He's been chasing me. I ran all the way from the dungeons. I suspect he's nearly here." Remus replied.

Just as he finished that sentence, Sirius came stumbling in through the portrait hole.

"Damn Remmy, are you taking shortcuts?"

"Maybe," Remus said slyly.

"You two are ridiculous." James shook his head.

"So are you Jamie, spying on Evans." Sirius rounded on him.

James winced at the nickname. "I told you not to call me that in front of her. And I'm not spying, just watching."

"Call it what you want, mate, it's the same thing to me." He turned to Remus. "I bet you I can beat you to the dorms."

Sirius didn't give Remus a chance to reply as he took off up the stairs.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Remus shouted after him as he hurried to catch up.

Sirius was first to reach the dormitory. He heard footsteps not far behind him, and he quickly hid behind the door. Remus came in moments later. Sirius jumped out and tackled him.

"Ahhh!" Remus yelped.

"Haha, Gotcha!" Sirius pinned him to the floor.

"I only let you win." Remus looked up at him.

"Yeah right!"

Remus laughed. "There's no way you would have won if you had played fair. Now let me up."

"Hell no, not until you admit that I am the grand master." Sirius teased him.

"The grand master?" Remus laughed again.

"I'll give you something to laugh about!" Sirius sat back on his heels and proceeded to tickle the sides of Remus' ribs.

The brown haired boy uncontrollably laughed and squirmed beneath the raven haired one.

"Okay, okay! I give up! You are the grand master!" Remus gasped. Sirius stopped tickling him, and smirked. "I knew you'd come around."

"Shut up, Padfoot."

"Make me!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Fine, I will." Without warning, Remus sat up and kissed him on the lips. It lasted mere seconds, and as quickly as it happened, Remus pulled away.

Sirius gaped at him. "What did you do that for?"

With a shrug, Remus replied, "You told me to make you shut up, so I did."

Sirius felt his body tingle with excitement. His best mate just kissed him! The whole thing was so forbidden. It really turned him on. He couldn't believe that he was just kissed by Remus!

He stared into the other boy's eyes.

'_God his lips were so soft. I want to kiss him again,' _Sirius thought to himself. ' _No, what are you thinking, he's…. he's Remus! But that kiss made me hungry for more…oh, fuck it.'_

Sirius pushed Remus back onto the floor and kissed him. Remus parted his lips and allowed Sirius' tongue to explore his mouth.

Fingers were tangled in hair and things were getting hot and heavy. They were so caught up in the moment they failed to hear the footsteps nearing the dorms, and the floorboard creak as James Potter came into view.

"Bloody hell!"

The two broke apart quickly at the sound of James' surprised voice.

Sirius was the first to act.

Thinking quickly he jumped up and laughed nervously.

"Haha James, gotcha!"

Remus caught on and laughed nervously as well.

James looked unconvinced as he glanced back and forth at the other two boys.

"It was a joke?"

Remus nodded and stole a glance at Sirius who grinned and said,

"Of course Prongs! Moony and I got you good, huh?"

James was silent while he pondered the situation.

"Yeah, you definitely got me…Anyway, I just came up here to tell you that I was going to Quidditch practice."

"Okay, have fun Prongs." Sirius said.

"See ya later James," Remus chimed in.

James gathered his things from underneath his bed and headed out of the dorm, but before he left, he cast a strange look at the other boys.

Sirius smirked at Remus.

"Well, that was close!"

* * *

And that was how Remus and Sirius first realized their attraction to each other. Over the course of the next few weeks, the attraction was as strong as ever and Remus was sure he would just die if Sirius did not ask him out. Sirius was subtle in his hints, but he was forever playfully flirting with him, not to mention the heavy make out sessions they were having was driving him crazy. Remus just wasn't sure how much more he could handle.

* * *

"Psssst! Hey Moony!" Sirius whispered to him.

Remus turned to his left and looked at him.

"Do you understand what he's talking about?" Sirius gestured toward Professor Binns.

"Yes, I do. Maybe you would too if you'd pay attention."

Sirius smiled. "Hey, I can't help it if I have something better to stare at."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"So if you understand it, maybe you could help me study later on…"

Sirius waggled his eyebrows at him.

"I'm sure it's studying you really want to do." Remus replied.

"I do want to study…just not History of Magic."

Remus sighed. "Okay, I'll help you study later."

"Great. I can't wait." Sirius grinned, as Remus turned his attention back to the lesson.

* * *

They had the dorm to their selves, since James was at Quidditch practice, and Peter was at the library.

Remus had his history book on his lap and Sirius was sitting across from him.

"Okay, so what year did the Giant Wars start?"" Remus quizzed his best mate.

"Umm…1672?" Sirius bit his lip while thinking hard.

"No, the answer is 1615."

"Whatever, I don't care about the Giant Wars." Sirius said grabbing the history book from Remus and tossing it aside. He leaned over him and kissed him softly on the lips.

Remus didn't protest as he was pushed back against the floor. The kissing grew into full-blown making out. Clothes were disheveled, hair was tousled, and the boys were starting to sweat.

That's when Remus felt Sirius' hand start to wander from his hair to his chest, and finally down to his trousers.

A gasp escaped from him as he felt Sirius squeeze his erection.

"Do you like that?" Sirius whispered in his ear.

"Yeah…" He whispered back.

Sirius squeezed again and kissed his neck, biting and sucking on the skin.

Remus moaned and tangled his fingers in the long black hair.

"Do you want me?" Sirius asked him.

"Yes," Remus whimpered.

"Tell me." Sirius said, while his hand traveled underneath of Remus' trousers and under his boxers.

Remus gasped again as he felt another squeeze, this time without the fabric between his flesh and Sirius' hand.

"I want you."

He felt Sirius smirk against the skin of his neck.

Sirius removed his hand from Remus' trousers and sat up. He unbuttoned the brunette's shirt and pulled it off.

He caressed Remus' chest and tenderly kissed the werewolf's scars. He kissed up to his nipples and sucked lightly on one. He then drew a line with his tongue, from his nipple down to the little line of hair leading down to his most private part. He looked up at Remus for approval and when he saw Remus nod, he proceeded to unzip his trousers and slide them off.

All that was left was a thin pair of boxers that barely concealed the excitement underneath. Pulling them down to Remus' ankles, he revealed an erection that stood stiff and ready. Licking softly from the base to the tip, Sirius imitated licking a popsicle. Remus moaned, breathing heavily. Sirius was sure to tease him, as he continued licking sloppily up and down. Remus wriggled below him, yearning and needing.

Finally satisfied with Remus' whimpering and squirming, he took one last lick before closing his mouth around the purplish head. He began to suck in the same motion while Remus was lost in complete and utter ecstasy. He bucked his hips and arched his back, trying to get Sirius to take more of him in his mouth. Sirius gave in and slid Remus' cock all the way into his mouth until the head touched the back of his throat. Remus nearly cried out but bit his tongue to keep quiet. Sirius carried on with this and Remus felt himself on the brink of an orgasm. A mind-blowing rush of sensations overcame him and he yelled out Sirius' name before coming into the other boy's mouth.

Sirius swallowed the come, noticing the salty taste, and laid down beside Remus. The brunette's eyes were closed as he was tried to catch his breath. Sirius ran his fingers through the brown hair and kissed Remus' forehead.

Opening his eyes, Remus looked at the dark haired boy and smiled weakly.

"That was definitely better than Giant Wars…"

Sirius chuckled softly. He looked into those amber eyes and decided to take a chance.

"Hey Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Remus felt his heart skip a beat.

"I thought you'd never ask."

(A/N: I'm not done here… ;)


	2. Jealousy is the greeneyed monster

It had been five days, twenty hours, and fifteen minutes since Remus and Sirius became an official couple. Remus was full of bliss as he made his way up to the common room to meet with the other marauders for their afternoon trip to Hogsmeade. He found them huddled over a table in a corner in the room. They all had their heads bent and were whispering. Suspecting that they were up to something, Remus snuck over to them and peered over James' shoulder. The three boys were looking at an erotic magazine with pictures of nude witches sprawled out across the page. Peter was pointing at one girl with blonde hair who was licking her wand suggestively.

"Damn, I'd let her lick my wand any day!" A voice to James' left said.

Remus turned his head and found that it was Sirius who had made the comment. The other two boys snickered and agreed. Remus, however, did not think it was so funny. He felt livid all of a sudden. A bubbling feeling of anger was boiling inside of him. He wanted to just reach over and tear the page from the magazine and rip it to shreds.

James noticed that he was behind them and invited him to join.

"No thanks," he said bitterly and walked away from them.

He threw himself onto the couch, running his fingers through his hair. Taking a deep breath, he told himself he needed to calm down. Why was he so angry? He had heard Sirius say those kinds of things before and it never really bothered him. But this was different. Sirius was _his, _and you were not supposed to say those things once you were in a relationship.

He was deep in thought and didn't realize that someone had sat down beside him.

"Hey," came a familiar voice.

Remus nearly jumped out of his seat. Sirius looked at him with concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," he snapped.

"Are you sure? You don't sound fine."

Remus was about to curse him out when he felt a hand clasp his own and their fingers intertwined. It was the first time Sirius had held his hand. All of Remus feelings of resentment instantly vanished. How could Sirius do such powerful things to his emotions?

"Yeah, I'm sure." He smiled warmly at his boyfriend, who returned the grin.

"Good. Hey, do you want to walk down to Hogsmeade, just you and me?"

"Of course."

"Great. Let me just go tell James and Peter." Sirius let go of Remus' hand and strolled over to the other marauders. While he was telling them, Remus couldn't help but to notice what a cute butt he had. He watched as James and Peter nodded and Sirius approached him again. Together they left the common room, and once they were walking along the empty corridor, Sirius took hold of his hand once more. Remus felt his heart flutter. He knew it was crazy, but he couldn't explain how he had been so pissed just minutes ago, and now he was feeling as if he had never been happier. Wow, love sure was strange.

They rounded a corner and saw a group of people ahead. Sirius let go of his hand almost immediately. Remus didn't say anything, although he wished he hadn't let go. As they approach the group, a pretty blonde haired girl made a point of tossing her hair and batting her eyes.

"Hi Sirius, " She smiled at him.

"Hey there Alice," Sirius smiled back.

She giggled and waved as they walked on. Remus decided to stay quiet. He did not want Sirius to think he was jealous, even though he actually was. They continued walking until they were on the grounds of Hogwarts, which was when Remus grabbed Sirius' hand. To his relief, Sirius did not pull away, but squeezed his hand tight and they set off for Hogsmeade.

* * *

While in Hogsmeade, they stopped at Honeydukes, Remus' favorite shop. Sirius surprised him with a basket full of delicious Chocolate Frogs, Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans, and Fizzing Whizbees.

"Aww, how sweet! Literally! Thanks Padfoot!"

"Anything for you." Sirius told him.

Remus just about stepped into a puddle on the way to Zonkos when Sirius pulled him aside.

"Careful, you don't want to get wet."

Remus laughed. " Maybe I do want to get wet."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him, and he just smiled deviously.

* * *

They got back to Hogwarts just in time for dinner. They reached the Great Hall and took their seats at the Gryffindor table. When they had finished piling their plates, Peter and James arrived and took the seats across from them.

"I'm starving!" James exclaimed as he shoveled food onto his plate.

The marauders ate and conversed throughout their meal. They were almost finished when Sirius placed his hand on Remus' leg underneath the table. Remus blushed as the hand crept further up his leg and came to rest on his inner thigh. He looked at Sirius and found that he was staring at him. He could tell just by the way those blue eyes gleamed that Sirius was thinking of something just beyond naughty. Sirius inconspicuously licked his upper lip seductively. Remus blushed an even deeper shade of red.

Smirking, Sirius stood up and excused himself to the loo. Remus waited a moment before excusing himself as well. Before he left, he caught James giving him a significant glance. He decided not to ponder too much on James, while he headed off to the loo. Just as he stepped outside of the Great Hall, a hand firmly gripped his shoulder. He spun around and found his boyfriend smiling slyly at him.

"Hey, wanna have some fun?"

Remus nodded. "Dorms?"

Sirius shook his head, "No, I can't wait that long. There's an empty class room just down the corridor."

"Perfect. I'll race you." But before Sirius could even agree, Remus was off.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Sirius ran after him.

When he finally caught up with him, he was already waiting for him in the room. Sirius shut the door behind him, and locked it with his wand.

He picked Remus up in his arms and laid him on the teacher's desk, knocking several books and a pile of parchments to the floor. He kissed Remus hard and passionately.

Remus suddenly pushed him off, and completely reversed their positions, leaving Sirius the one laying on the desk looking up at him. Sirius had a look of shock on his face, but it was soon replaced by excitement.

Remus had no idea where it had come from, but he wanted to be the one in control this time. He chalked it up to it being close to the full moon, the time when he was most aggressive. He kissed Sirius harder and with more force than he had meant to. But Sirius clearly liked it, as he moaned into Remus' mouth. Remus felt fingernails dig into the back of his shirt as he pressed Sirius harder into the desk, his arousal obvious and urgent. Breaking the kiss, they gasped for air.

"Merlin Moony, I had no idea you could be so dominate!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Neither did I." Remus growled in his ear. This sent a chill down the raven-haired boy's spine as he wrapped his legs around the other boy. Remus bit down hard on Sirius' neck, which produced a sharp intake of breath from him.

"Oh Gods, Moony! I like it when you're rough!"

Remus sucked on his neck and listened to his boyfriend's quick and heavy breathing. His breathing alone was enough to make Remus burst. He wasted no time in unbuckling the belt and unzipping the trousers that were between him and his current desire. Sirius decided in that moment that he loved the sound of buckles and zippers being undone.

Once the offending trousers were yanked off and thrown to the floor, Remus tugged at the waistband of the black silk boxers on Sirius' hips. Lifting his butt from the desk, Sirius helped shimmy the boxers down his thighs and past his ankles, and to where they ultimately landed on top of the trousers.

They caught each other's gaze and it was clear to see that the fire in Remus' eyes mirrored Sirius'. Remus kissed him once more before disappearing between his legs. And it was Sirius' turn to be brought to ecstasy…

Struggling to regain control of his breathing, Sirius panted as he lie spent on the desk. Remus grinned as he lay down on top of him. Feeling Sirius' arms wrap around him, he snuggled into his shoulder and whispered to him.

"Now who's the grand master?"

Sirius chuckled and turned to nuzzle the soft brown hair.

"You are, Moony. You are the grand master."

* * *

(A/N: I'm still not done…. ;) Please review!) 


	3. A Recipe for Trouble

(A/N: Sorry about the delay! I've been a little bust lately with school and all.

And as a side note, incase you were confused or something, time in the story has elapsed since the last chapter. :P )

* * *

It was almost time for breakfast and Remus could barely get out of bed. He was so tired, he barely slept at all last night due to a snogging session he and Sirius had that lasted well into the early hours of the morning. He struggled to put on his clothes, as James, Peter and Sirius were already clothed and waiting for him. He had no idea how Sirius had the energy to be ready on time 

"Come on Moony! We're not going to have enough time to eat if you keep going at this rate." James said irritably.

'_Why was he in such a bad mood? At least he got to sleep last night.'_ Remus thought as he apologized and threw on his shirt.

"Hey, don't get your knickers in a twist Prongs, Moony's just tired." Sirius defended him.

Remus gave him a soft smile, as if to say thanks.

James sighed. "You're right. Sorry Remus."

"It's okay." He said. _'He must be stressed out about Lily.'_

Once he had finished dressing, they started towards the Great Hall.

Breakfast went as usual, except for when Headmaster Dumbledore stood in front of the head table. He cleared his throat and the chatter in the hall fell silent.

"Good morning everyone. I just have a quick announcement to make. As many of you are aware, it is February and St. Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I feel we should do something different this year to celebrate the festivities, so I am proud to announce that we will be holding a Valentine's Day Ball." The hall was at once filled with excited voices.

Dumbledore cleared his throat loader. "Quiet down please!"

The noise died away again as the students looked up at him.

"The ball will take place here, in the Great Hall, in the evening, and will include music, dancing, and good fun. There will be a feast before the ball begins. Please remember that you must wear formal attire, and bring a date, because it is a Valentine's Ball after all." He smiled brightly at them. "Have a wonderful day!"

'_Well this should be fun.'_ Thought Remus as he heard James groan.

"Lily will never go with me!" He said, exasperated.

Sirius looked sympathetically at him.

"Look mate, all you have to do is tell her how much you like her, and tell her _why_ you like her. Girls like that."

Remus thought that was a good idea. But not only girls would like that, he knew _he _would really like to hear why Sirius liked him.

"Do you really think it will work?" James asked, almost desperate at this point.

"Maybe. It's worth a shot," Sirius told him.

"Yeah, maybe…" James said as he glanced at Lily while they stood up to leave for their classes.

* * *

The morning seemed to zoom by as everybody was in good spirits, gossiping and talking about the upcoming ball. Well, actually, it was the girls who were mostly talking about it; the boys were finding it hard to be excited while nervously deciding how to ask someone to go. Remus, however, was very excited. It was a chance to dance and have fun with Sirius, to go on a formal date. Not to mention, Sirius could finally show him off as his boyfriend to the whole school, so that obsessive girls could stop chasing him. 

Alice had been continuously stalking Sirius, always managing to show up when Remus wanted to be alone with him. She was getting under his skin, and it was becoming harder to be polite. And Sirius wasn't helping matters much. He was always so friendly to her, maybe sometimes a little too friendly, which worried Remus. He never asked if Sirius was gay or bisexual, but he had a feeling he was the latter. Not that it was a bad thing; he was just worried that a girl might come along who would interest Sirius more than him? Somehow he never thought about another bloke taking Sirius from him, it was just the girls that bothered him. And what if it was Alice who stole his boyfriend? Sometimes Remus thought that he was being way too jealous, that he should have more faith in Sirius, but sometimes it was hard to control what he felt. Especially when Sirius obviously didn't want their relationship to be known. He had never actually told Remus that, but it was clear when he never told anyone about their relationship, not even James, who was his best friend, or when he never showed him any physical affection in public, except for when nobody could see or when nobody was paying attention. Something that also bothered Remus was the fact that Sirius had not said those three words to him yet. Of course it may have been too soon for the L-word for they had only been dating for 3 weeks now, but Remus was already in love with him. In fact, he had even said, "I love you" to him one night while they were alone. Sirius had been quiet for a moment before grinning and saying, "How could you not love me?" At the time, Remus didn't think much of it, but it had been on his mind lately.

'_I don't know, maybe I'm thinking about it too much. Maybe I should just forget about it, and stop worring so much.'  
_

* * *

Remus was walking to his next class, Arithmacy, which the other Marauders did not have. He was almost there when he heard someone call his name. 

"Remus! Hey Remus!"

'_Oh no, please not her…'_ he thought as he pretended not to hear her and continued walking. However, Alice caught up to him and he was forced to stop.

"Hi Remus."

"Hello Alice."

Alice was a Gryffindor, in the same year, and was friends with Lily. She was very pretty, and most of the blokes fancied her. It was easy to see why. Not only was she good looking, but also she was popular, funny, and smart.

"Sorry for bothering you, but I was wondering, since you are Sirius' mate and all, if he had a girlfriend?"

Remus wanted to tell her that he had a boyfriend and it happens to be him, but he knew Sirius would be unhappy with him if he told anyone.

"No, he does not have a girlfriend. But he does fancy someone."

Her face instantly brightened.

"Oh! Do you know who he fancies?" She asked.

'_Yeah, me.'_

"No, he won't tell." He lied. "Look, I'm going to be late for class, so I ought to be going."

"Oh, yes, sorry," She said. "Thanks Remus."

"You're welcome," he said as he started towards his class, glancing over his shoulder, watching her nearly skip down the corridor with glee. He suddenly had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

(A/N: How do you like it so far? What would you do if you were in Remus' shoes? ) 


	4. Remus speaks his mind

It seemed as if all of Hogwarts cared of nothing but the Valentine's Day Ball, and there were only 4 days left. Sirius had not yet said anything to Remus about it, and even though it caused him a small amount of worry, (which he pushed to the back of his mind) Remus continued to believe that the school would know about their relationship come the 14th of February.

After his Ancient Runes class, he headed up to the Gryffindor tower with every intention of bringing up the subject of the ball with his boyfriend.

"Gumdrop." He said to the portrait of the fat lady. The portrait swung forward and he climbed into the common room. The first sound that greeted his ears was Alice's shrill laugh. He found her sitting on the couch next to Sirius. He was leaning back, clearly relaxed, his arm resting over the top of the couch, and he was talking to her while she laughed and giggled, and sat facing him, leaning ever so slightly toward him.

Anger rose up in his chest and he felt as if a creature was clawing at his insides, trying to tear its way out. He crossed the room in a matter of seconds and stood in front of the couch staring at the two of them. Sirius looked up first.

"Hey Remus. Come join us."

"Don't mind if I do." He said curtly as he squeezed himself between Sirius and a disgruntled Alice.

Alice had to slide down the couch a few inches to allow the comfortable space between them.

"So what's so funny?" He asked staring at Sirius.

Sirius gave him an odd look as he cleared his throat and said, "Oh, Alice and I were just joking about the professors and such."

"Yeah, like what?"

"Like how if Professor Flitwick ever had a girlfriend, he would have to stand on a stool to kiss her or else she'd have to bend down."

Alice laughed again. "Oh Sirius, you're so funny." He grinned at her and Remus felt the creature clawing even harder.

"I've got one. What if Professor Flitwick had a girlfriend and whenever she was not with him, she flirted shamelessly with another professor? That would be really funny, wouldn't it?" He said.

Sirius and Alice stared at him with expressions of confusion on their faces.

"Err…no I don't think that would be funny." Sirius said quietly.

"Yeah, me either," said Alice.

"Well, then that makes three of us."

"Umm, Remus, can I speak to you alone for a minute?"

"Why, what is there to talk about?" he said crossly.

"Excuse me Alice, "he said to her as he pulled Remus to his feet, and led him over to a deserted corner.

"What's the matter with you?" Sirius whispered.

"What's the matter with me? I'll tell you what's-" he was cut short when James bounded over to them.

"Oi! You guys aren't going to believe what just happened!"

Sirius and Remus were forced to end their conversation as James proceeded to tell his news.

"I took your advice, Sirius, and I told Lily that I really like her and I told her why. I told her that she was beautiful, clever, and witty. I said she had a mind like a diamond, and that she was simply stunning."

"What did she say?" Sirius asked.

"She said I was a git, but she laughed when she said it. You know, one of those girly laughs?"

Remus wanted to point out Alice for example, but he managed to keep quiet.

"So I asked her if she'd go to the Ball with me, and she said maybe, if I manage to keep my big head deflated that is, but she said maybe!" He said, exhilarated.

Sirius smiled. "I knew it would work!"

Remus made every effort to hide the anger he was feeling and mask it with happiness.

"That's great Prongs!" he mustered up as much enthusiasm as he could.

"Yeah, I can't _wait_ until that damn ball now! Say, have either of you found dates yet?" James inquired of them.

Remus remained silent but watched as Sirius hesitated and shook his head.

"Well, you better start asking, before all of the good ones are taken!" James told them.

"But ah…Padfoot," he said, looking over his shoulder towards the couch where Alice was still sitting, waiting for Sirius to return. He looked back at Sirius and winked. "I think there's a certain someone who would just love to go with you."

Remus glared at him, however, James did not seem to notice as he departed from the corner, leaving the two boys in an awkward silence.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Sirius started their discussion again.

"Why don't _you_ tell _me_?" Remus was seething.

"What are you talking about?"

"You and her! All you have been doing lately is flirting with Alice, even right in front of me!" Remus blurted, he wasn't going to hold this anger in any longer.

"I have not been flirting with her!" Sirius said indignantly.

"HA!" Remus scoffed. "Yeah right!"

"Listen, I don't know how you came up with that idea, but she's just a friend."

"Yeah, I was just a friend too."

"You are different, you're my boyfriend." Annoyance was showing in Sirius' voice.

"Well, who knew!? Oh wait, nobody does." Remus said sardonically.

"Moony, I just don't want people to think of us like that." Sirius tried to explain.

"Why not? Are you ashamed of us? Are you ashamed of me?"

"Of course not, I just…I...I'm not ready for us to go public yet."

"Let me ask you something. Do you love me? I mean truly love me?" Remus searched his eyes for an answer.

"I…I…Well, of course." Sirius stammered.

"Then say it. Say you love me."

For a fleeting moment, Remus thought he might actually say it, but he was let down when Sirius failed to utter even a word.

"Were you even planning on taking me to the Valentine's Ball?" Remus asked and was at once sorry he asked.

"Err…well…I…" Was all that Sirius could say.

At this point the anger subsided and Remus was left with despair.

"How could you, Sirius? How could you do this to me?"

With tears brimming in his eyes, he turned away from the raven-haired boy.

"Wait, Remus…" Sirius put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Don't. Don't touch me."

Sirius' hand fell listlessly at his side as he watched Remus sulk out of the common room.


	5. The Astronomy Tower

(A/N- Oh, my how long it's been since I've updated this story! Sorry for the delay! I've just had so much going on in my life with graduating and issues with the family, but anyway...Here's chapter five! Thank you to everyone for your patience! Please dont hate me!)

* * *

Sirius looked helplessly at the portrait hole where Remus had just left. He didn't mean for this to happen, he really liked Remus, he liked him a lot. In truth he didn't like Alice like a girlfriend, not at all. True, he liked both blokes and girls, but Remus was the only one who had his real attraction. Sirius just kept up on the girls so he wouldn't be noticed as he lusted after his best mate, his _male_ best mate. Still, he wanted to bring Remus to the Valentine's Ball, but his fear of uncovering the truth took over and he had decided that he was going to tell Remus that they should each take a girl to the ball, so no one would suspect them of being lovers. He really didn't know what effect this would have upon Remus, upon their relationship. 

He sulked upstairs to the dormitories and no one heard from him the rest of the night. Although, James Potter could have sworn that he heard a muffled sob when he got into bed that night.

* * *

Remus subconsciously slumped out of the portrait hole and into the empty corridor. His conscious mind was barely functioning. He vaguely noticed his movements; he simply let his feet carry him. It took him a moment to realize that he had reached the corridor near the astronomy tower. Deciding that he might as well get some fresh air, or hell, maybe even jump off, he climbed the stairs to the tower. 

The cool night air met his cheeks as he stepped out onto the tower balcony. He stepped up to the edge and looked over the railing. It was definitely a long ways up.

Suddenly a rustle behind him made him jump and turn about in startlement. A boy his age, with cinnomon brown hair, leapt back in a similar fashion.

"Oi!"

"Oh, sorry there!"

Remus and the boy regained their composure and awkwardly acknowledged each other.

"Remus, is that you?"

"Yeah..Frank?"

"Yeah. Sorry to bother you. I didn't think anyone was up here."

Frank was a Gryffindor as well, only he was a 7th year.

"Oh that's okay, I was just getting some air. Did you want to be alone?" Remus offered.

"No it's alright, I was just getting some air too."

Remus nodded and looked away, into the starry night sky. His eyes instantly found the constellation of canis major. He sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in the crisp air. He kept replaying the evening's fight in his mind. Remembering his boyfriend's hesistated words and reluctance of showing his love.

A muffled noise that sounded a lot like a sniffle came from the direction of the other boy. Opening his eyes, he found Frank hunched over his knees on the floor. Remus sat next to him and offered his consolance.

"Frank, what's the matter? Don't cry, it'll be okay."

Frank wiped his eyes and turned away, embarrassed by his sorrow.

"Sorry Remus. I don't know where that came from. I'm just having a rough time."

Remus nodded and held back his own tears. "I know what you mean. I'm having a rather rough time myself."

"Really? What's wrong on your end?"  
"Oh, um...I just got into big argument with my friend."

Frank sniffled again. "I'm sorry to hear that. At least your friend knows you're alive. The girl I fancy has a crush on someone else and doesn't even know that I exist."

"Surely she know that you exist, but maybe she just doesn't know that you're that much into her. You should try to approach her when she isn't around that guy, that would probably give you more of an advantage."

Frank shook his head. "No, that wouldn't work, everytime I see her she's with _him_, always trying to impress him, not to mention she nearly throws herself at him."

Remus was reminded heavily of Alice, as the creature growled inside of him.

"Funny, my friend and I were actually arguing over a girl who did that exact sort of thing to him."

Frank laughed bitterly. "Did it happen to be Sirius Black?"

Remus turned to look at Frank in astonishment. "Actually, it was. How did you know that?"

"Because that's the guy who she swoons over, the guy Alice wants to snog."

Realization washed over Remus as he absorbed this information.

"You fancy Alice? Oh, wow, I had no idea."

"Yeah, unfortunately the more popular, charming, handsome man won her heart."

Remus said nothing as his brain picked up speed and he began to formulate a plot. He had come up with an idea in less then five minutes.

"Frank," he said quite suddenly, startling the other boy. "I know that you're an honest bloke, and I know that you aren't judgemental so I'm positive that I can trust you with a secret."

Frank cocked an eyebrow at him. "Of course you can, Remus. I trust you as well. I mean, afterall, I did just tell you _my_ biggest secret."

Remus felt himself blush, flattered, and was grateful for the darkness.

"Well, thank you," he continued on. " Sirius Black is well...he's my boyfriend, we've been dating for almost a month now."

Remus watched as he got the reaction he thought he would. Frank's eyes widened and he gaped at him.

"You mean you and Black are...poofs?"

A nodd was enough to convince him as he smiled slightly.

"All of this time I've been worried that she would be his girlfriend and you're telling me that he's gay? That's great!"

"Well, not exactly..." Remus said, hating to disappoint the boy after making him so hopeful. He proceeded to tell him about their fight.

"Oh, well, it looks like we're in the same boat now." Frank sighed.

Seeing a perfect opportunity to tell his plot, Remus leaned closer to him.

"Actually, I've got a plan, you know that Valentine's Ball coming up..."


	6. Vengeance and Spite

(A/N- Ugh, I'm such a procrastinator, please forgive me of being so late to update. I heart you all so much! Please review!)

* * *

All was quiet in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory, except for a small whimpering followed by a rustling of blankets and covers. Sirius Black was asleep in his bed, clearly restless as he tossed and turned. He awoke with a start sobbing the name, "Moony." He sat up and drew the curtains around him open. It took his eyes a few moments to adjust to the morning's light. The snores of the other boys could be heard all around him as he tried to gather his thoughts. He had been dreaming. He dreamt that he and Remus had an argument that drove Remus away from him. But that's all it was; just a dream. At least he thought it was, wished it was, and hoped it was. Sirius hopped off of his bed and tip-toed over to Remus' bed. He pulled back the curtains and found an empty, unslept-in bed. 

_'That's unusual', _he thought.

He quickly changed into his robes and headed down to the common room. He found Remus sleeping peacefully on the couch by the fireplace, which had gone out long since. However, Sirius noticed another boy fast asleep on a chair next to Remus. He recognized this boy as the shy but determined 7th year, Frank Longbottom. Not sure of what to do, Sirius sat down upon a chair close to Remus and waited.

It was a good twenty minutes before Remus stirred. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. He looked around the common room and saw Sirius watching him.

Sirius tentatively smiled and said, "Hey."

Remus stared at him for a minute before lightly shaking Frank, who awoke and also noticed Sirius. Remus and Frank exchanged glances and whispers. Suddenly, they got up and left through the portrait hole without a word to Sirius.

Sirius pouted indignantly. What had he done to deserve this treatment?

But then his dream resurfaced in his memory and he began to think that maybe it wasn't just a dream afterall. He started to make for the stairs, but before he could take a step, James descended them with Peter in tow.

"There you are! Where's Moony? We thought he'd be with you."

Sirius wanted to cry, but he blinked away the tears stinging at his eyes and muttered, "He left already."

"Ah...well, let's go and get breakfast, maybe we'll meet him there."

Trying hard to think of an excuse but failing, Sirius was dragged along to the Great Hall.

* * *

"Alright, now that he's noticed us together, we just have to stick around each other," Remus explained. 

Frank nodded as they entered the Great Hall.

Remus found them seats at the Gryffindor table. They sat and started to eat.

The other Marauders arrived not long after them.

Peter was the first to notice Remus.

"Oh, I see him! He's sitting with Longbottom!"

James found his way over to the other two boys and sat across from them. Sirius and Peter followed suit.

"Morning Remus, Frank," James acknowledged them.

Peter chimed in with his greetings. Sirius stayed quiet.

"Good Morning James and Good morning to you too Peter." Remus replied as Frank waved.

Peter piled a handful of baccon and a stack of buttered toast onto his plate.

"See Peter, that's why you're not losing any weight." James teased.

Peter laughed but put back half of his share.

"James, when do you know for sure that you're going with Lily to the Valentine's Ball?" Remus asked.

James swallowed a mouthful of eggs and washed it down with orange juice.

"She's supposed to let me know today."

"Do you think she'll say yes?" Peter asked.

"I believe so."

"So, have you found anyone to go with?" James asked of Remus.

Sirius, who was staring down at his breakfast, jerked his head up to watch Remus carefully as he spoke.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have."

Sirius felt his heart sink into his stomach and he pushed away his plate. Suddenly he didn't feel much like eating.

"That's great! How about you Frank?"

"Yes, I'm taking someone."

"Well that just leaves Sirius. Peter, miraciously, managed to score a date with Mary Anne, Lily's friend."

"Way to go Peter!" Remus congratulated him.

"I'm telling you Sirius, ask her before someone else does," James nudged him as Alice spotted them from the Entrance Hall. "I mean, if Peter, myself, and Remus already have dates, you should definitely get a move on."

Alice reached the table and found a spot next to Sirius. Remus watched out of the corner of his eye.

"Good Morning Sirius!" She said cheerily, batting her eyelashes.

"Hi", he muttered.

"Hello Alice", Frank said softly.

"Hello", she said politely, turning her attention back to Sirius.

The six of them sat in silence for a few minutes.

James nudged Sirius again and whispered, "For Merlin' sake, Peter and Remus have found dates before you have!"

_'Remus found a date before me', _He thought.

_'Remus found a date.'_

_'Remus, _**my **_Remus, found a date that is _**not **_me.'_

This seemed to spark something within him. Something that felt a lot like vengeance and spite.

"Alice", he began, "Do you have a date for the Valentine's Ball?"

Remus settled his full gaze on Sirius, and held his breath.

Alice grinned. "No, I don't."

The air was thick it seemed as Sirius locked eyes with Remus, daring him to say something.

But Remus did not.

"Would you like to go with me then?"

"Of course, I would love to!" Alice exclaimed happily.

Remus let go his breath.


	7. Poisonous Words

The next two days consisted of the continued hype of the ball. Those who did not yet have a date scrambled to find one at the last minute.

James was estatic and it was all due to Lily saying she'd go with him for sure. Remus and Frank continued to spend all of their free time together. Frank even assumed the role of walking Remus to his classes and carrying his books for him. He even held open doors for him. Remus thought he was acting very much the gentleman, and was surprised at the amount of attention Frank gave him. If he hadn't known any better, he would have thought that Frank fancied him.

Sirius did not appreciate the fact that Remus was almost never without Frank by his side. He hoped that he could catch him alone so that he could talk to him. But that was almost entirely impossible, not only because of Frank, but also because Alice had interpreted going to the ball with him as also being his girlfriend. Therefore, she was constantly around him, more than usually. Sirius was beginning to regret asking her to the ball. However, whenever he saw Remus and Frank laughing together and paying no one else any mind, he pulled Alice over within Remus' peripheral vision. He would then proceed to tell the most stupidest jokes, but Alice laughed at them anyway, so desperate to impress him. He would steal glances at Remus to see if he was jealous, only to find that Remus hadn't even noticed, or that he had left with Frank.

The mauraders still ate meals together, although they now included Frank and Alice. James would usually dominate the conversation, while Peter agreed with him and Sirius and Remus ignored each other. At one point the tension in the air between them was so much so that James leaned over to his best friend and said, "Mate, you two are killing me with giving each other the cold shoulder. What exactly is going on between you guys?"

Sirius tried to act nonchalantly as he replied, "Nothing, Prongs. Absolutely nothing."

James didn't believe him for a second but had decided to drop it anyway.

* * *

It was the night before the ball and the excitement in the Gryffindor common room was as strong as ever. James was talking about the next day with Lily, Peter had been pushed into a corner by Mary Anne and was being lectured on how he should dress for tomorrow evening, Remus and Frank were sitting by the fire next to each other and discussing their plan in hushed whispers, and Sirius sat not too far away from them, listening to Alice drone on about her dress while he kept his attention on Remus. Soon, he grew tired of hearing her so he excused himself. He started over to where James was perched but then haulted halfway there, witnessing something that made his heart stop and his blood boil. Frank had just reached out and took Remus' hand in his own. Pissed but at the same time hurt, Sirius decided to change directions and marched up to them. They both looked up at him and Frank let go of Remus' hand. Unsure of what he was going to say, he stood there for a moment looking and feeling rather foolish. The other two boys continued to stare up at him as he fumbled over words in his head. He imagined how stupid he must look just standing there. Finally he managed to say something. 

"Can I talk to you alone?" He gestured to Remus.

Remus looked at Frank and back at Sirius.

_'Could he be thinking of apologizing?_' Remus thought, or rather hoped.

"You've got five minutes", he said.

Sirius nodded and he led him out of the portrait hole and into the deserted corridor.

They stood there for three mintues in silence as Sirius pondered over what he was going to say. He wanted to tell Remus how much he missed him, how it hurt to not be with him, and how he wished he could be taking him to the ball instead of Alice.

Remus sighed. He wished Sirius would just say something. The silence made him unfomfortable.

_'I wonder what he's thinking. Could he be ready to say it? Ready to finally say he loves me? Because if he says it, I can call off this whole plan and then we can go to the ball together. Oh please say it, Sirius, please say you love me.'_

But Sirius made no attempt to speak. Remus shifted and sighed again.

"You have two more minutes."

He wasn't really counting the minutes, he just wanted to push Sirius to talk, to say _something._

Sirius wanted to express his thoughts, to let Remus know how much he needed him, but his pride got the better of him and soon words came tumbling out of his mouth, words that he didn't even mean to say.

"What do you think you're doing holding his hand?"

Remus looked affronted. He raised his eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Why was he holding your hand?"

In truth, it was only a simple innocent gesture. Frank had only held his hand becasue Remus was upset and worried that the plan wouldn't work, he was trying to console him. However, Remus did not tell this to Sirius. He wanted to hear exactly what Sirius had to say about this, so he egged him on.

"Why does that matter?"

Sirius felt his mouth betraying his mind. He knew he shouldn't be taking it this far, but he couldn't stop his mouth.

"What, are you going to kiss him too? Or have you already done that and are planning on sucking him off like you did to me? Are you going to let him _fuck_ you and take your virginity? I bet you are, you're just a slut."

As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to grab a hold of them before Remus heard them and shove them back down his throat. But it was too late.

Remus flinched. The words pierced his skin like a sharp snakebite. The poisonous words seeped through his pores and into his bloodstream, reaching his heart and causing it to pump slower. His breathing was constricted. His muscles seemed paralyzed. Tears started to swell in his eyes.

How could Sirius say that? How could his words be so harsh, so cold? Why would he want to hurt Remus like this?

He looked at Sirius and was at lost for words, so he did the next best thing to show him of how he was feeling; he slapped him hard across the face with a force that left a ringing in Sirius' ears.

Remus disappeared into the common room leaving Sirius rubbing his cheek and cursing himself.


End file.
